Before I was dating my now husband I used to go out to clubs and party. I used to say I was going because I wanted a night out or I loved to dance. That’s a lie.
I was going to find cute boys.
Almost every time I didn’t find anything worth pursuing or more than just a fling. And I never did.
I would spend entire nights worried about my hair and my outfit and getting drunk. I wasn’t even dancing the whole time because I was too busy scouting for boys.
My husband and I met at work, were I had a strict no dating coworkers rule. My selfish desires had blocked me from my blessing for three years before I would finally go on a date with him.
Now we’re married and I don’t go to clubs anymore. I don’t go out dancing and drinking at bars. Why? Because I’m not looking for anyone anymore so it’s not as much fun. I can drink at home with my husband.
We did have an experience when we went to Jamaica were we went to the club. I told him “tonight I want to dance”. And I did and it felt so good! Just dancing and drinking not worried about anything else. I realized once I took my selfish goal out of the night it was so much more fun. I wish I had this confidence and relaxation when I was younger.
I mean in terms of Peter preaching to the Philippians; I didn’t solve world hunger. But! BIG BUT! I now count my husband as more important than myself. I don’t want to dance when he’s not there to watch me. I don’t want to go out if he’s not there to enjoy the night with me. A small step towards selflessness but a step nonetheless.
- Besos! xoxo